MJ :(

Why am I feeling such a lost after unfriended  him? I feel like I have lost a very, very good friend. I don't know??! I know, I am just like his other ordinary FB friend, but I feel like I have just lost something very important. But, I am not to be blamed. By the way, who asked him to always appear offline. And who asked him to be rude when I asked him questions? He deserved it, don't he?

我知道你在装offline

有 本事 你就不要上网。 不要让我看到你。可是你依然是那么可爱. hahaha

并不是说我放弃我的梦想，但有时我也会疲倦和崩溃。一个人的毅力，也有限制。我不知道。这太难了。没有人鼓励我继续追求我的梦想。好事发生时，它也不会持续太久。它只是让我兴奋了几分钟，然后继续打倒我，我只走了一半,剩下的一半我不敢想象. 我连要维持我在的宝座都难， 更何况是要去到更高的包座。

Words are not meant to be said without any thinking.

Please bear in mind every words that u  gonna say. Things should not be judged from the outside, but we should try to be in their shoes, feel by ourselves the things that they had felt. Every matter has both positive n negative sides, it's up to us that we try to accept and evaluate'em.

Tetris AGAIN?

Okay, why am I always post and write about Tetris? This is because Tetris had once became one of my matlamat. So, in the beginning, it was hard for me to actually forget Tetris. But now, I have to. BUT, I have to do it doesnt mean I CAN do it. Now, straight to the point; I am proud and honored to declare that Yu Ke Jurcy's rank in Battle 2P has fallen from  rank 55( Champion) to rank 45( Hero). Haizz...Ignore that stupid stuff, Yu ke. Sorry Jason Kwan., MJ Reyes.. Gonna miss u guys so much~

Concentratring..

Nah, not going to play TB anymore till next year.

She's seeking information from me. I know, she's seeking on our tuition progresses. B**ch please, I should have realized it earlier. No wonder she n her friend  keep asking us about tuition. Next time, I 'll be very careful with both of u.

I should have listened to my heart.

Please, jgn bajet hot la!

Ewwww..... HOT???!! No!! Stalking u?? I have so many things to do in my to-do-list, and stalking u wasn't listed in it.

Dissapointed huh?

Next time, do not trust your first impression. Mr.H ,you  must be thinking that I'm weak now huh? Yeah, that's me, actually, hah.

Crushing on Jason Kwan??? Hahahahahaha..

Oh My God.. He is so cute..especially in one particular video..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmcwY32anOw&list=UU8tGnQEJspB0wRzSx-uplNQ&index=1&feature=plcp

Harsh day!

Maths, Pengajian Am has driven me crazy. MUET made my mind wondering what the passage is all about. Sincerely, I really didnt understand the whole text. I mean, I couldnt figure out the main point of the text. Oh God Why...Is  it my mind which is thinking negatively, or am  I really cannot struggle for form 6?

I am so LAZY.

That's it.

NEXT WEEK.

Yeah, f6 classes will be started next week. First semester of pre-university - style - learning. New syllabus with new exposure to Maths, Biology , Chemistry and language studies. And I'm sure that this will bring the way of learning to a new, higher level. I must get the pointer 4.0 this sem, or otherwise studying medicine would be just a dream. Yu Ke, DO IT!

The Video

Watched the Tetris Battle video just now n that marked the end of my journey in Tetris Battle. I once hoped to conquer the game but I couldn't do it. So, gonna say byebye to Tetris Battle now. I'm gonna miss u , especially when u made me lose all the stars through KO's. Hahaa... I really hate you. At least, u have made me learn something;that is to learn to accept failure. Haha...So, I guess it is worth to lose all  the stars. Maybe, someday, I 'll play you again. Or maybe not. Lets see.. Nobody can guess it..

My tooth hurts!! But my heart hurts more. The feeling that u have that u are longing for something but u know it's impossible to get it. Accept  the fact. And u know what, I have drunk 3 cups of coff33 today. But the caffeine doesnt even kill the painful feelings. They said, caffeine can be a pain killer for a short period of time but in my case, it doesn't work. Maybe alcohol works. Hey friend, get me a can of beer please. LOL.I don't know why I always lose the game.Not skillful enough la , Yu Ke. Nah, with 40+ lines, they wont get you anywhere but below rank 21. Yu Ke, ur brain can't plan a strategy. Ur brain needs time to catch up the things taught. Ur brain needs long time to memorize things. So, what can ur brain do? Recently, I keep hearing things. I always hear that somebody is calling me but there isn't any. Am I having a psychological prob?? I guess so. All the stress from my demand on tetris has beaten me down. Nah, not going to play it anymore. But giving up isn't my thing. In the same time, I don't have the skills to conquer the game and knock down the opponent. Jason, teach me please?? Nah, not going to happen. I need to find a thing that I can master,,, What is it?

What is my purpose in life?

Can somebody tell me?? God, will u tell me? Friends, can u guys tell me? Teachers, can u tell me? I bet u're wondering why am I  not asking my parents. Nah, not that close to them. Btw, I dun really want to involve them in this particular matter, coz they dont know me well. I mean, I rarely share things with them, so they most probably wont know. Haha. Okay, here comes the prob. There are so many probs that i'm facing now. Or should I say dilemma. After my SPM, I have gone through the darkest moment  in my life. The fear n insecure feeling bout my future. When SPM ended, I was lost! I didnt have a goal that time. I was so scared. I didnt like sitting round my home doing nothing. But then I have found a new goal, but my friends might not believe me. It's a game, namely Tetris Battle. Okay, so I played it and played n played again. That time, I was just thinking to be the best in that game. So,I kept thinking of being ranked up to rank 100. (And PLEASE, DON'T LAUGH) U know why, I played the game like thousands of times. More than 4000 matches  that I have played to this day! And u know what, I am currenty in rank 24.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA. There was one moment that I thought; F**k this SHIT!! I'm not gonna play this anymore  and I was so fed up wif that game. U know it sucks when a 'straight' person like me, a.k.a dumb have to plan a game strategy to knock off the opponent. And it wasnt easy. But , miraculously, Im still playing till today, just now. And there is one boy,named Kelvin. Helo Mr. Kelvin, stop looking at me as ur rival. Believe me, I have no skills at all. Why are u keep looking for me in the match?When I was in the game,  u were there oso. And another 2 girls, Miss Yong Le n Miss Evelyne. Can u  guys tell me ur secrets to be ranked up from rank 20++ to rank 50++??? OMG!! U guys are so skillful! And finally this guy; I met him in Draw My Thing, Mr, MJ. How am I supposed to say this ??? Hurm,,, he played 700++ games and won 521 of them. And he was God of Tetris!! Dafuq???! then he invited me for a battle in the game. And u know what, he said he was a tetris noob. But I have never a seen a tetris noob performing  T-spins, and he performed 2,I think so, in the beginning of the game! As u guys have guessed, I lost the game for sure. haha...You're a good player, MJ... hehe...If u have ever seen this, be grateful because I rarely praise people, unless they're very extraordinary.. :) You know what, I have learnt something from this game and discovered the dilemma I'm facing now. Should I just give up or continue to fight for something that I most probably won't achieve?Should I just lower my demand and continue with a stress-free life; a happy life and be an average person?? Or should I continue to put effort that wont even change my life, even a little? TETRIS BATTLE,  u teach me this. I admit that I'm not not born with a mind good in strategy-planning and I often misplace the tetriminos. I dunno, I have played u so many times, and I just can't  break the lines and KO's records. I have seen the others' records, some even played 40000++  times. And they finally became God of Tetris.  I keep persuading myself to play u .

'YU KE, U JUST PLAYED IT FOR MORE THAN 4000 TIMES, HOW ABOUT THOSE WHO HAVE PLAYED IT 40000++ TIMES?? THEY NEVER GIVE UP, AND FINALLY THEY REACHED THEIR GOAL. '

Actually, I met with the same dilemma in my life when I realized I won't be the best forever. Maybe I was the top student for SPM in my sch, but there are so many excellent students out there. Brilliant, genius, extraordinary, talented, gifted students with good IQ. SO, how I am going to compete with them when I dun even have the capabilities?  You  know, becoming an average person is a piece of cake, u dun have to do anything. Cikgu Nooredah once asked; Bagaimana  anda nak tanam lalang di atas sebidang tanah yg diberikan kpd anda?Jawapannya, anda tak perlu buat apa2. Mcm hidup ni gak, if u wanna be an average person, then do nothing, u can lead a happier life. But , u 'll never  experience the joyness of sucess. that sweet moment when everybody are inspired by u.Then, u'll see everything running smoothly. To all the f5 students, u guys are so  much better than our batch last year. You guys have done a great job making STARP proud.I know u guys are feeling at the top now, just like I did last year. I'm sorry to say this but one day , u guys will realize that u're not the best forever.Maybe the ways of us handling failure are differnt. I am jealous with u guys , coz u guys are more outstanding than us , both in ur studies n also co-curricular xtvts.  I wan to share this wif somebodywho is a good listener. But, nevermind, they apparently not interested to listen to my prob. I'll seek the solution myself then.


Finally, I realized another thing, sometimes when people wrote something with emoticons, they're not dramatic. Maybe they just wanna hide their real feelings.

The only word that I can say to u is Sorry.

I'm sorry. And thanks for lying to me but still be such a good friend.

Untitled.

Yesterday, I got my SPM results. Hmm2...7A+, 1A, 1A- . So, what I'm going to say? Unsatisfied, coz I got an A- for Pendidikan Moral?? If I do so, that's not gonna change my results. There are so many better people out there that got straight A+. Even my relative got 8A+ and 3A. So, what do I need to say here??

People change, things change, world change. What doesn't change?? So, is it really matters to even care about people's thoughts on urself? People are attracted to nice physical appearance;whether it is a person, a thing or even ...Briefly, ALL things. Hehe..Somehow, the only one thing that will not change is how we see ourselves. I'm so depressed; each time I'm going to out, I need to ensure my body in the best condition; I mean I usually exercise n starve myself a day before I'm going out. But now, I rarely do it now! So, it really sucks ; each time I pass by a mirror or door or whatever that can reflect light, I'll stop for a while! So depressed seeing myself fat and I'm very, very not comfortable with it! During the old time, at school, I dun even care if I'm fat or ugly! Coz I wear school uniform; that won't reveal my real body size.. Now, I even have to think of what I'm going to wear to class coz I had left school since last year. This really SUCKS!!! 

By the way, this boy is damn cute!! Looks just like  HIM!! Awww..

Tomorrow is the day.

Dear God, please give me the best. I'm not dared to ask for much, just give to me accordingly. Give as much as I should attain. Thank you. I know that only  when I want something, I'll remember you, and that's not good. So, I leave it to u.

Boys, if  you guys don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect us to be Victoria's Secrets angels.

Alesandra Ambrasio:)

Both of these models are mothers! Oh My God! They're so bodylicious!! I often wonder why can't I have such  height and body figure?? Miranda's height is 5'9 and Alessandra's 5'10. Both of them are Victoria's Secrets angels. Damn hot!

Miranda Kerr, u're so lovely!

I Don't Feel Anything.

Regarding the title, I'm going to take my SPM result this Wednesday~ Damn, I'm not feeling anything right now. Some of my friends fell sick recently , thinking too much bout their results. So, am I being in the right state now of feeling nothing?? Or I don't care ?? I know, I'm carefree. Sometimes, I think that writing in blog is actually useless,because we have to face the probs; not complaining them in blog? So, f6 or foundation or matriculation? Dear God, I hope you'll give me choices; or at least an offer to either one of them. Otherwise, I'll really be an useless brath!  Okay, I still have to wait for the results for me to make decision.

Anyway, I don't believe that Yoga is still with that guy! Please!! He even went to the camp and met her  yesterday afternoon to fetch her back! Yoga also said that she once fainted at the camp. I'm not sure it's because she starved herself or she couldn't stand those extreme activities. However, it's quite irritating if to hear that she starved herself there. I can understand her situation; I'm also not used to eat in public and I don't feel anything. But I think people around will think I'm just annoying not to eat anything in front of'em. Now, I'm in their shoes!

Nothing!

Nothing, nothing at all! No offer, no calls! Where should I study later?? Yu Ke , u're DOOMED! 3 days more till the day  SPM results being released! OMG!! What to do??! What to do??!

I know I failed it twice! But u dun have to say 'OMG, U FAILED AGAIN??' !seriously I know it's a sarcasm!

Da tou xia BLOCKED me!!

What the hell??! Blocked me??! I don't even care !! SHIT!

New Blog

Firstly, this is my new blog. I deleted the old one a couple of weeks ago, cuz I hate the design but now I'm regretting on my act. Today, this morning, I sat for my 2nd Ujian JPJ, and failed! This feels like SHIT! I did all those 3 rounds perfectly when I practised earlier but I screwed them up during the exam. Another RM100 wasted. This was my 2nd time sitting for the test. I think that RM200 should be given to her right now! But ...